Ask and Steven Gerrard will deliver. I'm sorry I doubted you.
Wednesday, March 28, 2007
Sneakers in Disguise
I can't figure out whether having these shoes will make you either the coolest person ever, or the biggest nerd on the block.
But screw it, they're Transformers. Giant robots are a guaranteed way to get me interested in anything. Sometimes being a nerd isn't such a bad thing.
Monday, March 26, 2007
SNL - United Way
There's something about kids getting hit with footballs that makes me laugh hysterically.
One time I considered being a teacher. True story.
Rubbish. Pure Rubbish.
Get your shit together Brits. You invented the damn sport, now score some damn goals. Sure I don't know much about soccer formations, but it seems to me that if you refuse to push the ball forward and count only on half-assed crosses as your key to scoring goals, you're not going to score many of them.
If I was this angry watching the game in the comfort of my own home, I couldn't even fathom what self-inflicted injuries would come about from watching this game in an English pub.
Sometimes I think I should've just stuck to watching the Yankees. At least when they lose, it's fun to watch the shitstorm that follows in the NY papers. When the Brits lose, it's kind of depressing knowing a whole country's dreams are being let down.
If I was this angry watching the game in the comfort of my own home, I couldn't even fathom what self-inflicted injuries would come about from watching this game in an English pub.
Sometimes I think I should've just stuck to watching the Yankees. At least when they lose, it's fun to watch the shitstorm that follows in the NY papers. When the Brits lose, it's kind of depressing knowing a whole country's dreams are being let down.
Sunday, March 25, 2007
Peter Pan Syndrome
Fuck, graduation is coming real real soon. That doesn't sound good at all.
I don't want to grow up. They'll have to drag me from this life kicking and screaming. I'm constantly terrified of the fact that these last four years in college are as good as it gets. That part'll probably come when I find myself unable to sufficiently interact with my peers because I will have refused to learn how to conduct myself like a true "adult." Life's been too good to me up to this point to have it become this serious thing that I have to (gasp) work at.
Was it just me who had this insane idea that once you reach a certain age that you're given the experience and ability to become an adult? I mean, how could I be allowed to live this long without gaining said knowledge?
And what do I do to assuage myself from these looming thoughts? I play videogames and go out drinking like it's my job. For some reason regressive behavior seems like the most sensible thing to do right before I officially become a real person. It's like I'm subconsciously thinking " If I can't slow down time, maybe I can screw myself over enough times to actually hold myself back." Well that just sounds ridiculous.
Maybe I should just stop being a pussy, quit whining about it, and just keep on keeping on. Whatever, I'm going to go play FIFA now. I doubt anyone's made it to the bottom of this entry anyway.
I don't want to grow up. They'll have to drag me from this life kicking and screaming. I'm constantly terrified of the fact that these last four years in college are as good as it gets. That part'll probably come when I find myself unable to sufficiently interact with my peers because I will have refused to learn how to conduct myself like a true "adult." Life's been too good to me up to this point to have it become this serious thing that I have to (gasp) work at.
Was it just me who had this insane idea that once you reach a certain age that you're given the experience and ability to become an adult? I mean, how could I be allowed to live this long without gaining said knowledge?
And what do I do to assuage myself from these looming thoughts? I play videogames and go out drinking like it's my job. For some reason regressive behavior seems like the most sensible thing to do right before I officially become a real person. It's like I'm subconsciously thinking " If I can't slow down time, maybe I can screw myself over enough times to actually hold myself back." Well that just sounds ridiculous.
Maybe I should just stop being a pussy, quit whining about it, and just keep on keeping on. Whatever, I'm going to go play FIFA now. I doubt anyone's made it to the bottom of this entry anyway.
Friday, March 23, 2007
Gilbert Arenas, Blogger Extraordinaire.
Seriously, this guy puts me to shame. How is a man so prodigiously talented?
Tuesday, March 20, 2007
The Boys are Back in Town
I think I've altogether forgiven Johnny Damon for his role in the horrific 2004 postseason. You can't hate a guy who commented on the steroid controversy by saying:
"I'm gaining weight the right way: drinking beer."
You just have to root for a guy like that.
In any case, Damon's recent claim in the NYPost has gotten me sufficiently stoked for the return of baseball, and my beloved Yankees.
Jeter's piroutte throws, Listening to "Enter Sandman" as Mo comes in from the 'pen, Sweeping the Red Sox, Walk-off home runs, Wang's sinker, Listening to/Participating in the role call, the fight for the AL East.. I am pumped.
Few things get me feeling like a twelve-year old boy like the return of baseball.
"I'm gaining weight the right way: drinking beer."
You just have to root for a guy like that.
In any case, Damon's recent claim in the NYPost has gotten me sufficiently stoked for the return of baseball, and my beloved Yankees.
Jeter's piroutte throws, Listening to "Enter Sandman" as Mo comes in from the 'pen, Sweeping the Red Sox, Walk-off home runs, Wang's sinker, Listening to/Participating in the role call, the fight for the AL East.. I am pumped.
Few things get me feeling like a twelve-year old boy like the return of baseball.
It's Always Nice to Have Idols
Every so often, I'll get really obsessed and develop a mini-guy crush on a writer. It's a flavor of the month thing for me. For the month of March/April, ladies and gentlemen, I bring to you Jay Mcinerney, author of such gems as Bright Lights, Big City and The Good Life (neither of which I've read yet, but best believe I'm on my way to B&N right away son.)
Some choice quotes from his recent interview with Vogue Hommes International
(c/o Gawker):
On his worst sexual experience ever:
"Years ago I spent half the night chatting up a very beautiful woman. I managed to get her to come back to my place, to undress her and get her into bed. Then when I woke up the next day I realized that she was dead. Before we had a chance to do anything...."
On living with two models:
" Dreadful. They're so focused on how they look it becomes unbearable. The one I married [The first wife, again - Ed.] was convinced she was horrendous and fat. ...She was totally and neurotically obsessed by herself..."
I often try to imagine what I'll be like as an older writer. If I'm anything like this guy, I'll pretty much be able to consider myself a success. Yes, I honestly believe that.
Some choice quotes from his recent interview with Vogue Hommes International
(c/o Gawker):
On his worst sexual experience ever:
"Years ago I spent half the night chatting up a very beautiful woman. I managed to get her to come back to my place, to undress her and get her into bed. Then when I woke up the next day I realized that she was dead. Before we had a chance to do anything...."
On living with two models:
" Dreadful. They're so focused on how they look it becomes unbearable. The one I married [The first wife, again - Ed.] was convinced she was horrendous and fat. ...She was totally and neurotically obsessed by herself..."
I often try to imagine what I'll be like as an older writer. If I'm anything like this guy, I'll pretty much be able to consider myself a success. Yes, I honestly believe that.
Monday, March 19, 2007
We're Half the World Baby
Bruce Lee. Baddest Man Ever.
Kobayashi, Record-Breaking Hot Dog Eating Champ.
Now Tony Jaa.
(He raps too. That's a +80 on the badass scale if you were keeping count.)
We Asians may be small, but we will mercilessly kick your ass. And afterwards, we'll be really polite about it.
Kobayashi, Record-Breaking Hot Dog Eating Champ.
Now Tony Jaa.
(He raps too. That's a +80 on the badass scale if you were keeping count.)
We Asians may be small, but we will mercilessly kick your ass. And afterwards, we'll be really polite about it.
I Feel So Betrayed
Yet another illusion from my childhood has been shattered.
Next you'll tell me that rolling around in radioactive waste, in fact, does not give you superpowers. Lies damnit.
Next you'll tell me that rolling around in radioactive waste, in fact, does not give you superpowers. Lies damnit.
Look Out World, I'm on My Way
Sometimes when I think of impending graduation and that whole reality thing, I get nervous.
Sometimes, I see things that make me believe that I may have more than a fighting chance. Watching dumb kids are great for boosting up your confidence.
Sometimes, I see things that make me believe that I may have more than a fighting chance. Watching dumb kids are great for boosting up your confidence.
Don't Call it a Comeback
It's me again. This would be my third attempt into digital infamy, the first two blogs of mine dying the unfortunate death that befall all neglected digital spaces. Ah well.
I'd go through the trouble of reintroducing myself, but that'd spoil all the fun, you'd have nothing to come back for. And without readers, how does one start on the path of Internet stardom?
In any case, welcome all.
I'd go through the trouble of reintroducing myself, but that'd spoil all the fun, you'd have nothing to come back for. And without readers, how does one start on the path of Internet stardom?
In any case, welcome all.
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